Actual Excerpts From Classified Sections of Newspapers

• Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
• Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.
• Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
• Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
• 3 year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.
• Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
• Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting off head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.
• Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00
• For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
• Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
• Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
• We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.